Teaser Tuesday 2-16-2010

*NOTE this scene is pertty unsettling for some, read at your own risk…


Here’s the beginning of Chapter 9.

Cleo’s adoptive father has kept her under lock and key since her adoptive mother died. He is violent and abusive toward her. She will be rescued though, so no worries.    

excerpt from pg. 76

    The turning of the lock that night was no surprise to me. Father checked on me every night around 11:00, to make sure I hadn’t jumped out the window I’m sure. Unlike every other night though he closed the door behind him and locked it.

    I curled up into a ball awaiting one of his drunken beatings. I could smell the liquor on him as he stood beside my bed.

    “It’s been so long Miriam,” he slurred.

    Shock ran through me. Miriam was my Mum’s name, why would he call me that? I pulled the blanket tightly to me.

    “You can’t deny me anymore. I’ve brought money, you promised to give me a son Miriam. Let me make a child with you, I’ll pay you well for him.”

    I heard the clink of coins as they landed on the floor. I pulled the blanket tighter against my body and tried to move away from him as he sat on the bed. Suddenly he grasped the blankets and jerked them out of my hands, throwing them onto the floor. I looked up into his blank eyes as he smiled drunkenly at me.

    “You want to play coy with me woman?”

     “Father, what are you doing?” I asked in a whimper.

     He ignored my words and placed his hand on my hip turning me onto my back. I couldn’t move. I was terrified. I knew this had to be a nightmare, this wasn’t real. I pulled away from him.

    “Father stop it!” I cried as tears fell from my eyes.

    I noticed the familiar fury cross his face as he raised his hand.

    “You will give me what I’ve come for whore! If I have to make you I will. I will not be denied by the likes of you!”

    Then realization hit me. He knew my mum; he was one of her customers, possibly even my real father. I had suspected it the first time I met him. He had looked at me that night as though he had known me my whole life. I never mentioned it though. I was afraid that if he found out I knew about him and Mum that he would send me away.

     “Please stop!” I cried out again.

    His hand came down on my face with a vengeance. I sheilded it as best I could with my hands as he struck me again. The now familiar taste of blood filled my mouth. I knew he was going to kill me for sure this time. I silently prayed for it. I lost consciousness then.

     When I awoke he was above me, naked, looking down on me with no expression on his face. I noticed my nightgown lay on the floor in pieces beside the bed and terror struck through me again. He intended to rape me, to defile my body as he had done to my Mum who knows how many times. I fought back for the first time against him lashing out with my fingernails and fists.

    “No! Father stop, you don’t know what you’re doing,” I cried.

     He placed his hand over my mouth and nose as he thrust himself into me. I screamed beneath his hand as my consciousness begin to slip away again. I couldn’t breathe; he was smothering me. The darkness finally consumed me and I was grateful for it.

    The pain was too much.



  1. WOW, this was good. I think you could stretch this out some. I didn’t really feel her emotions as much as I’d hoped i would. I’m sure I’ll see this in a beta, so I’ll help you beef it up a bit. But otherwise, this was great. Made me want to know the rest of the story for sure. Not as disturbing as I thought it was going to be. BUt I can see how it would bother some people.

  2. loved it the first time i read it and i still do. sorry but i think if you strech it out more it will be too much. i know the rest of the story and think it works great.

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