Teaser Tuesday 3-23-2010

Well here is a brand new teaser from a shiny new WIP.  This excerpt is from the very first few pages of the book. Let me know what you think.


excerpt from pg.1

Chapter 1

Jordyn sat on the floor, leaning over the windowsill watching the trail of smoke from her cigarette flow outside. The early morning air was cool on her face as she took another drag, trying to calm her nerves. The nightmare was always the same. Every time she started out in a new place it came to her. The memory from her childhood that she couldn’t escape. She stretched out her right hand, looking over the disfigured flesh that covered it. When she was younger she used to try and make out shapes from the scars, now she just stared at them. She glanced over her shoulder at the glowing alarm clock and sighed.

“Guess I need to get a move on,” she said, stubbing the fire of her cigarette out on the edge of the windowsill.

Her new room was nicer than the last one, she thought. The walls were painted deep red with black trim around the edges. She was thankful that this foster home wasn’t like the last.

“Well, Skittles, at least Glenda and Chris don’t seem too uptight. They haven’t tried to shove a bible down my throat or prayed for me yet,” she said.

Jordyn walked over to her bed, gently running her hand over the soft white fur of her ferret. He responded by lifting his head and nuzzling his nose into the palm of her hand.

“Not that it matters anyway right? Once I graduate I’ll be on my own.”

Skittles looked up at her before laying his head back down on the plush red pillow. She patted the top of his head once more before heading to her closet.

“You know, it could be a lot worse. Remember Bible thumping Betty and her pedophile husband Ray? Man I couldn’t wait to get out of that home.”

Skittles began cleaning himself, the small collar on his neck jingled as the tags bounced off of one another.

Jordyn liked to think that on some level Skittles understood everything she said. It gave her a sense of peace to think there was one being that understood her, even if it was a ferret. She grabbed a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt from the closet before walking out of the room, blowing a kiss to Skittles as he yawned.

“You go back to sleep. I have to get ready for school,” she grumbled.

The sounds of movement coming from the kitchen reminded her that Glenda was a morning person.

“Wonder how long she’s been up?” she said as she opened the bathroom door and closed it behind her.

The shower was refreshing; it seemed to wash away the last remnants of her nightmare. She stood under the warm water as it raced along her body. She couldn’t feel the intensity of the water on her right shoulder but she knew it was there. The scars that trailed up her right arm and onto her back and neck prevented her from feeling a lot of sensations. She could tell hot and cold, but anything like a gentle touch or rushing water felt like nothing to her. She finished her shower and stepped out onto the bright yellow floor mat.

The mirror over the sink was covered with steam from the shower. She wiped her hand across it and looked at her reflection. Her dark red hair clung to her face and neck. She pulled a towel from the cabinet and flipping her head down, wrapped it up around her hair. From the left she looked like a normal seventeen-year-old girl, but from the right she looked like a freak. At least that was what most people saw. The scars on her right side ran up her neck and onto her cheek, ending just below her eye.

She picked up the bottle of lotion and squeezed out enough to rub on her face. She had stopped trying to cover the scars with make-up years ago. It didn’t do any good anyway. Instead she opted to just wear her hair down over them, masking them as best she could. Today was going to be filled with stares and whispers, like every other time she had started out in a new school. Hopefully no one would find her interesting enough to bug her with a million questions about her scars. She pulled on her T-shirt and jeans and dried her hair with the towel.

“Well, this is as good as its gonna get,” she mused to her reflection.



1 Comment

  1. I really like the title, and you give some great details in this excerpt. Love the bit when she’s thinking about how she used to look for shapes in her scars.

    Keep an eye out for lines like this: “Her new room was nicer than the last one, she thought.” You don’t need the “she thought” bit. It distances the reader, and the sentence works fine without it.

    Good luck with it! You have a great setup here – I’m curious about how she got her scars and if they’re related to why she’s in foster care.

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