Similarities of Dating and the Publishing Industry

In the dating world, when looking for a like minded person to spend time with on a relationship level one goes to bars, checks out dating websites and even asks their friends for ideas on potential suitors.  As a writer, set on entering the world of publishing, one finishes a manuscript then does pretty much the same thing. They attend confrences, troll writing websites and even ask fellow agented writers for advice on finding the perfect fit.

Once a like minded person is found, it then becomes the task of finding out if that person is interested in what you have to offer and vise versa. In publishing, a writer sends out a query letter in the hopes of peaking the agent’s interest and receiving a request for a full submission.

If both parties are interested in setting up a first date, then they spend time
preparing for the event by finding the perfect outfit, ideal setting, and a time to meet. In publishing, once the agent asks for a full the writer then frantically reads the manuscript in search of any errors to make sure the agent is receiving the best possible draft.

After the first date, at least one of the parties involved is left waiting for a
response from the other person. It could be days or even weeks sometimes. In the worst cases there is no response at all, leaving the rejected person feeling empty and lost, afraid to ever return to the dating pool. In publishing, the writer does this same waiting. Weeks, months may go by with no reply.

Once the waiting is over and there has been contact by one party to another, they decide on a second date. If the future dates go well, then marriage usually follows.  In publishing, if the agent likes the manuscript then they either ask for revisions or offer representation.

The couple agrees to terms of time and place for the wedding. They enter into a
contract to be together for life. In publishing, the agent sends the contract and sometimes there is negotiating on specifics, but an agreement is reached and the two are joined for the duration of the contract.

After the wedding and honeymoon, the couple must decide where to live. They
must also make sure there is a financial institution willing to take a chance on them and loan them the money to buy their dream home.  In publishing the agent and writer decide on a game plan and submit the manuscript to specific publishing houses with the hopes one of them will take a chance on an unknown writer and publish their book.

Once the couple finds the perfect house and is able to purchase it they move in
and begin their life together. For some children are an immediate desire. For others they want to wait until the time is right. So it is in the publishing world. Once a publishing house accepts the manuscript, they then decide if they wish to see more of the writer’s work.

Not all marriages are perfect, and many end in divorce. In publishing, agents and writers part ways as well, sometimes on good terms.

In life we all have different personalities and preferences, it’s finding someone
that shares these that is the hard part.

Good luck to all searching for that perfect match and happy writing.

1 Comment

  1. I had to chuckle when I read your blog’s title. Marcia Yudkin, an amazing editor I worked with a very long time ago, once told me: “Finding an agent is like finding Mr. Right. It’s going to take time and patience.” I in fact just quoted her this week during an interview with WriterViews.com. Funny how it holds true. Nice article.


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